//currently in talks to sell this work, if talks fall through, will repost.

Damn, I like this.

I was actually kinda pissed that it ended so soon. Is this the beginning of a novel? It feels like there's a book lurking behind it.

I particularly dig the dialogue, and the way the science is lightly but intricately presented. At first I was struck a bit by Lilliput's woodeness, but it worked well given his mercenary past, and I think you broke him down just enough to emphasize the clinical horror of his situation without getting sentimental.

But man, I wanna see more... I want to see what kind of man he evolves into, dying millions of times... there are so many directions you could take him.

The one gripe I've got is that it needs a bit of formatting and pagination to help the readability, but that's probably just a limitation of the forum software here. You should put this is in a Journal and then bug The Pub to link this forum post to it. The Journals are nice because they have better formatting options, can handle larger work, and you can tag it around the web with the share tab.

Why do I nag? Because I care. 'Cause this is good. Really good. And it needs to get out there.

So, in closing, I say thanks, and plz sr can we have some moar?

I edited it a little bit, did a basic double spacing to allow for an easier read.

I don't know if this is going to be a novel or not, it was just an idea that was banging around in my mind a few weeks ago and I hammered it out, got this short story...

I originally intended it to be a bit darker, with the Quantum Clone or whatever you want to call it having to be murdered at the end of of the Zero Practical, but I figured it was surreal enough as it was.

I could easily expand this into a novel, just the concepts that come with it. What if they get so good at creating these things that there is a colony on some distant moon of Lilliputs who have built a dome to keep themselves alive... Only to have another Lilliput appear and be sent there to blow the dome up.

I liked the science in this, because I spent a good few months researching quantum entanglement and replication of this style... I originally had a huge glut of science speak and formula's in the beginning of the first one... Decided against it.

I am just curious if anyone noticed the little easter egg I placed in the beginning, a little hint, check out the name of the organization the Doctor is with.

I sort of kept it light on the set up because I didn't want people to get distracted by Liliputs backstory. I originally had the beginning of the story be three pages longer, with him in the forests of Argentina hunting and fighting, etc. Then coming home and two months later being bored, not broke, just bored.

It read clunky, and carried with it absolutely no real... I dunno, meat to the rest of the story. I realized his backstory is less important than I realized. If I turn it into a novel, I'll want to go further into it because he'll be going from this semi-normal hired gun, to a complete neurotic mess of multiple lives.

The series of shorts was my first concept, with this being the last one. Working his way back to understanding as it were. The description of the technologies (Such as relay satellites and other way-points that transmit at an almost immediate pace the data back and forth, and his interactions with alien communities, or exploration and the like. I've had this idea for a while.)

I actually didn't give him a first name the first time I wrote this story, because I wanted to keep him at arms distance.

What is happening to him is truly horrific, brutalization in a very dark way in the name of science. I gave him the first name when my wife said that he felt more like a Villain if he only had a last name.


Mary O. Knit consortium... Say Mary O Knit quickly a few times, I think you may get it without me having to spell it out. It's a subtle little foreshadow for anyone who picks it up about what they're working on.